Spider Eyes

 Join me as I explore false eyelashes

God didn’t bless me with girl babies. You know that old saying, “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle”? Well I guess he didn’t think i could handle a girl. And probably not. I mean the crying, the emotions, the hormones, and that’s just me. He did however give me three rambunctious boys all with ADHD. Who knew raising a girl would be harder than three rowdy boys with a sleepy frontal lobe and little impulse control. Apparently God did.

stuff-clipart-girl-stuff120702I missed out on a lot of stuff not having a girl to raise. No tutus, no hair to braid, no sassy attitude. Well, eventually God did feel I was probably ready to take on the challenge of raising a girl and he put a seven year old in my life (bonus kid), but this being the typical
step-monster/Cinderella relationship, I did not have a lot of mother-daughter time, and there was a lot I missed.

Apparently mothers and daughters do things like hair, and sleep-overs, and gossip. These things I knew nothing about. I knew about teaching a nine-year-old how to pitch, stinky socks, and football practice. I knew about snips and snails and puppy dog tails. Climbing trees, catching frogs and fishing.download

Boys are not great for getting beauty advice from. When I asked one of my boys how my outfit looked, he said, “I don’t know, go ask a girl”. So girly stuff was not a thing in our household.

Eventually, my step daughter (now 24) and I figured out how to form a relationship and even have fun together. On her most recent trip home from sunny California, we went beauty shopping. Along with another one of my girls who adopted me as an adult, we hit the shops and spent gobs of cash on expensive make up.

We decided to give false eyelashes a go, and each bought a few sets, and let me tell you, there is a definite learning curve. As we each tried to put on our eyelashes we each had varying levels of success. My DSD was a pro on her first try. They looked amazing all long and full, fluttering like a butterfly wing. My DAD was not as successful and took multiple attempts to get things right. Again the butterfly wing.

imagesTwo beautiful girls batting their luscious eyelashes at me as I struggled to even get the first one on. I tried sitting, standing, a magnifying mirror. Tried with my left hand, then my right hand. Eyes closed. Eyes open. All I could manage was to make myself look like two spiders took up residence on my face. And not dainty spiders, like an elegant daddy long-legger, I looked like huge black hairy tarantulas came to roost. I was about to give up, throw in the towel, and set fire to the spiders.spiders_tAP120530153234

Finally the girls came to my rescue. They told me all the things I was doing wrong, which was just about everything. I purchased the biggest, fullest, lushest lashes I could find. First mistake. I used a lot of adhesive. Second mistake. I didn’t measure or align the lashes. And the list goes on and on.

So for those of you who may be new to false eyelashes but want to give them a try, let me offer a bit of advice. First don’t buy anything that says elegant, sexy, dramatic, or glamorous. Do buy the ones that say shy, natural, or demi. These will give you longer fuller lashes without the dramatic spider effect. Second use a brush on adhesive, not the squeeze tube. You will be guaranteed to glue your eye shut using the squeeze tube. I did find a nice brush on lash adhesive that is black at the local Walgreen’s. Only use a little bit of glue, you don’t need to saturate the lashes, just enough to make them stick.

Here’s the important part, hold the lashes up to your eye before applying glue to see how they will fit. You may need to snip a bit off the end. If you do need to trim the lashes, snip from the outside edge, not the inside edge. The inside lashes are often shorter than the outside ones, and you want to keep that difference. Again, “dry-fit” the lashes to make sure they’re not too big still. Once you have them trimmed to the right length you can apply the adhesive. Again, use the adhesive sparingly. A little dab’ll do ya. Then let the adhesive dry for about thirty seconds before applying.

I found it easier to use tweezers and keep my eye slightly open when applying the lashes. I also find it easier to not use mascara beforehand either. Mascara makes my natural lashes stiff, and more difficult to get the falsies on. At this point, set the lashes on the lash line in the center of the eye first. Practice makes perfect. Once the center is on, use the tweezers to place the outer edge on the lash line, then the inner edge. If you are quick enough, you can re-position if necessary while the glue is still tacky. Once I get both eyes done, I dab on a quick coat of mascara, mainly on my natural lashes just to blend them in, and I’m good to go.  Here is the before and after. What do you think?

Lashes can be re-used multiple times. Once the glue starts to build up, you should probably throw them away, or hide them in your teenage sons bed so he thinks its a spider. Sorry kiddo. Momma loves you.


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